Reading Body Language: 10 Signs of Attraction Explained

Body language is extremely powerful; 55% of our communication is non-verbal, 38% is from voice tone, and remarkably only 7% of communication is through the words we speak. Actions really do speak louder than words, so it’s important that we are aware of them. When it comes to attracting a man or a woman, non-verbal communication says a lot about our feelings towards someone and within the first few minutes of meeting someone we usually decide if we find them attractive or not. 

If you’re trying to pick up on male/female love signals but their words don’t reveal much, it’s often their body language that tells the true story about their level of romantic interest. A big problem is that women sometimes pretend to be interested to be polite and this can be very confusing for men. Guys, you can save yourself a lot of embarrassment regarding mixed signals and making an inappropriate move if you’re just a bit more aware of what her body is saying. Here are 10 secret signs of attraction to help you out…

1) The surprising part of the body that tells the truth more than any other is…

Our feet! When people try to control their body language, they mostly focus on their facial expressions, posture and hand and arm gestures. People rarely think about the body language of their feet and legs so the movements made by these parts of the body are uncontrolled and thus where the truth can be found most often. Feet usually face towards a point of interest, so if you’re on a date and someone’s feet are pointing towards you, it’s a good sign, however if their feet are pointing away from you/towards the exit, they’d probably prefer to leave.

2) Mirroring

When we like someone we will subconsciously start to mirror their behaviour, whether this is sitting in the same way or doing the same gestures. So next time you’re on a date and can’t tell if someone’s flirting with you, look out for the other person mirroring what you do and you’ll know if things are going well. If you like someone you may also start doing it without even realising.

3) Eye Contact and Pupil Dilation

Eye contact is very important – and women in particular tend to hold a man’s gaze when they’re interested in them and flutter their eyelids. If you find a girl looking at you for more than a few seconds, then looking away/down and looking back again, it’s a positive sign she’s attracted to you. Also, if you happen to be close enough to look into someone’s eyes, dilating pupils are another positive sign that someone is interested and likes you. If someone’s gaze is averted and they’re looking over your shoulder, it’s a clear sign they’d rather be somewhere else and their eyes are leading where their body wants to follow.

4) Welcoming Posture

If someone is facing towards you and has an open, welcoming posture without any barriers (for example folded arms which can be seen as defensive), this is a sign that they are opening themselves up to you. The same goes for if they welcome you into their personal space by leaning in towards you to decrease the distance between you.

5) Head Tilt

Look out for a subtle head tilt when you’re speaking to someone – this can be a sign that someone is interested in what you are saying. When it comes to female body signals, if she tilts her head to expose her neck, this can be a subconscious way of exposing her pheromones and telling a guy that she’s comfortable around him by  displaying a vulnerable part of her body. This was a pose that Marilyn Monroe often demonstrated.

Photo by: Mikel Agirregabiria

6) Touch

Touch is a sign that someone is comfortable with you, and this can be something as subtle as an arm/shoulder touch or a playful tap. We touch people when we feel at ease with them. On top of this though – the way we touch other objects is very important as we transfer our inner feelings to objects around us. If we stroked our own arm for example when talking to someone, that could be indicating that we’d like someone else to touch our arm in that way.

7) Eyebrow Flash

Look out for an eyebrow raise when you see someone, this quick ‘flash’ when the eyebrows shoot up when someone sees you  can be a sure-fire indicator someone is interested and that they don’t perceive you as a threat. It’s a subconscious way of saying they’re happy to see you. It’s known as a micro-gesture and it happens in less that 1/5 of a second. Lowered eyebrows on the other hand are a sign of anger and disagreement.

8) Lips

This is especially important for guys observing girls – look out for a subtle lip bite to indicate attraction and of course a smile is a key sign somebody likes you. Make sure it’s a genuine smile by seeing if they smile with their eyes as well as their mouth. You can tell this by the creases that appear by the sides of the eyes. Also if someone is staring at your lips – it can often be a sign they want to kiss you.

9) Flared Nostrils

When someone flares their nostrils, it relates to fight or flight and can indicate either anger or excitement so judge the situation, and if you’re already getting on well, then it’s probably the latter.

10) Preening Gestures

When we’re attracted to someone, we’re more likely to preen; for example play with our hair, adjust our clothes, or play with our jewellery – these fidgety movements to do with our hair or clothing are a subconscious way of making ourselves look more appealing. A woman playing with her hair while talking to a man is a clear sign she’s interested.

So remember, it’s often not what we do say that can be the deal breaker, it’s what we don’t say.  If you’re struggling to decide whether it’s a case of he’s/she’s ‘just not that into you’, now you know how to read the secret signs and you’ll soon be an expert. Good luck!

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